Look past
by I lOvE FrEd WeAsLeY
Summary: Remus Tonks. Can't find a better couple! All the sadness and happiness set in HBP. dramatic, but i don't think it will make you cry! It actually has some action, ya know, with voldemort and stuff, so it's not just fluff. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Tonks was curled up on the couch near a window in the sitting room of The Order's headquarters. She was lost in her book and dull sunlight was pouring in through the big old window. She neither looked up or noticed when a familiar figure entered the room quietly.

"Oh, Nymphadora! The meeting is starting," Remus Lupin told her. Tonks looked up at his soft, kind face and her heart melted and jumped and sank into her stomach all at once. She recalled how she came to be stuck in a place she didn't want to be with this man. That place was love.

After the fight at the Ministry of Magic Tonks had been sulking in her room, worried about too many things to name and mostly sad for Sirius. It was dark in her room but sleep didn't come. It never did.

She was lying on her bed on top of her covers; eyes wide open, facing away from the door. Remus opened the door and came to sit on the bed.

"Nymphadora, you need to sleep," He said gently, laying his hand on her forehead. His hand was rough but soft, if that makes any sense.

"No," Tonks grumbled, her face buried in her pillow.

"At least come down and eat," he said firmly.

"Not hungry," Tonks insisted.

"Then you're going to sleep. I'm going to make sure of it," He said. Then he laid back on the bed and sat with his hands folded in front of him.

He comforted her, just his presence. He made her feel safe, like nothing could hurt her. She shivered as she realized there were loads of things that could hurt her.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, seeing her shiver.

"A bit cold," she lied. Then she moved a tiny inch closer to him and fell asleep.

The next morning Tonks woke up, one hand on Remus's chest, her face in his shoulder and her body snuggled against him. She quickly stood up and realized that he was asleep.

She smiled serenely and walked out the door.

In present time Tonks put down her book and sighed.

"Don't call me Nymphadora," she said quietly, without any feeling. He gave her a weak smile and turned to leave, but she hurried to catch up with him. They walked in expectant silence for a while.

'_She's so sad. Is it a result of what happened at the Ministry?_' Remus wondered, '_Sirius dying? Stress?_'

Remus was worried. She just didn't seem her usual spunky self, and then there was her hair. It hung limp around her shoulders in all of its mousy brown glory. Scratch that, it's definitely not glory, thought Remus.

"How's Harry?" Tonks asked before they went into the kitchen for the meeting.

"Fine. Molly said he's spending the summer at The Burrow," Remus said distractedly.

"I know, I was there when he… I mean I was visiting Molly… when he got there… business, just Order stuff… you know…" Tonks covered up her lie badly.

The day after she realized that she was overly fond of Remus, she had gone to Molly's house and confided in her. Molly comforted her, but warned her of the risks. The same risks that she had known for a while now. The same risks that made no difference to Tonks.

"This may be the last time in a while that we're here. The Order is going to have to be out there in the action, and we'll have to leave. Everyone does, since we don't know if Lestrange or Harry inherited the house from Sirius," Remus added as an afterthought.

"I just hope I'm stationed somewhere interesting," Tonks replied simply as she walked in and took a seat.

Albus Dumbledore, head of The Order and the greatest wizard of the time, stood at the head of the table. The twinkle in his eyes had become determined, rather then humorous these days. Not much humor left in the world, Tonks thought bitterly, glancing sideways at Remus. She knew he was too old, too poor, too dangerous. She had heard the words so many times that they were pounded meaninglessly into her head, playing like a broken record whenever she looked at him. I don't care! She wanted to scream. I don't care! I DON'T CARE!

"More dementor attacks, three more actually. It's getting worse," someone was talking.

"I don't care!" Tonks suddenly spoke.

"What?" Kingsley Shacklebolt, who had been speaking, turned to her, baffled.

"You don't care about dementor attacks?" Remus whispered from the seat next to her. She shivered from the closeness of him, the smell of books and chocolate and baked bread wafting off of him dreamily.

Then she came back to earth, blushing furiously about her runaway thoughts and her sudden outburst to her inner voices.

"Sorry, continue," She said with a forced smile.

"Let's move on to stations," Dumbledore suggested knowingly, "Nymphadora, since you are being assigned by the ministry to guard Hogwarts, I suggest you go along with them. Keep an eye on Harry. Dawlish is stationed there too, I believe? Keep an eye on him as well. We have reason to suspect… Well just please keep an eye out for anything suspicious."

"_Always the boring jobs,_" Tonks thought.

Dumbledore went on to assign stations to the rest of the Order and Tonks tuned out. She was brought back to earth with a jolt at Remus's name.

"Remus, I think it would best suit our needs for you to work…" Dumbledore coughed, "…undercover for a while."

Remus looked up at Dumbledore sadly.

"Of course, of course," Remus nodded dutifully. He was going undercover with the werewolves. Fenrir Greyback could kill him, or any of those other beasts! Tonks leaned over to Remus.

"Let me talk to you tonight privately before you leave, in the drawing room?" she whispered. He nodded. He looked sick and she felt a rush of sympathy for this man who made her so happy.

Tonight she was going to tell him how she felt. She was in love with Remus.

That night Tonks was sitting in a big chair in the drawing room, nervously fiddling with her hair. This was probably the most emotion she'd felt since she'd fallen in love. Wasn't love supposed to make you happy? Dumb irony.

Then Tonks looked up to see the familiar form of Remus hovering in the doorway.

"What is it that you wanted to talk to me about," he asked, sounding nervous himself.

"Well… I'll get straight to the point," She told him. He nodded encouragingly.

"That would be nice," He said. She took a breath to steady her furiously beating heart.

"I- I love you," She breathed out.


	2. Chapter 2

REMUS POV!

I stood there, breathless, completely unaware of what was going on around me. Love? Love? Love? LOVE?

How could she love me? Everyone was saying she and Charlie Weasley would get together (**A/N: had to add that since Tonks+Charlie would be ADORABLE IN WAYS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW, even though I am a true Tonks Remus shipper of course)**.

"Wh- What?" I stuttered.

"I think you heard me," she said giving me a stern look.

"But… You are so young! Nymphadora! You have so many guys to choose from. Safer, younger, richer men that can take care of you and protect you! I'm old. I'm a… _werewolf_. I'm poor. I'm not right for you at all!" I ranted and raved.

Tears welled up in her pretty little eyes.

"I don't care," she bit her lip, determined to look strong.

"You need someone else," I told her.

"I need you." She whispered, turning away and walking out, leaving me with my heart ripped to pieces.

_Go after her_ a voice in my head urged/

**No! **I argued defiantly.

_Why not?_

_**Why should I?**_

_Because you **love her.**_

_**NO! I don't!**_

But I knew it, I had known it, and I would forever know it. I love Nymphadora Tonks.

The next day we were to leave for our assigned places. I woke up early in the morning with everyone rushing around outside my door. I pulled on my clothes and packed up.

My life was at one of its lowest points that gray and rainy morning. I was going off to live with the werewolves for six months and I just denied the woman I loved most in the world a chance to be happy.

I sighed and apparated without saying goodbye.

TONKS POV!

I rubbed my temples to clear the throbbing headache that had send needles of hot pain up and down my head, which was already swimming with thoughts that I didn't even want to address.

I was going to Hogwarts today and was actually very glad to leave the company of Remus.

"Ooh," I gasped, holding my stomach. I hadn't slept a wink. Just his name sent shivers down my miserable spine. I closed my eyes and with a small whimper I sat on my bed with my face in my hands.

"Oh, Dear. We're all leaving, clearing out the house! And- oh my! What's wrong?" Mrs. Weasley asked in alarm when she saw me, because now I had started to sob into my hands.

She walked over and sat down carefully beside me on the bed, laying her hands gently onto my back.

"I don't feel well," I moaned. She shook her head and pulled me into a hug.

"What hurts?" She asked.

"My heart," I replied.

I stood watching the students file by off the Hogwarts express, its engine roaring warmly and puffing steam into the chilly, rainy air.

One second year boy ran up behind a girl with two pigtails and a pink dress. He pulled one of her pigtails and she whipped around to face him. I thought she was going to cry, but instead she curled her hand into a fist and sank a hard punch into his jaw. The boy started to cry and ran away.

I laughed out loud, proud of the little pig-tailed girl.

"Nice one!" I cried, high fiving the beaming little girl. For a second I was my old self again, laughing and joking.

Then I realized that Harry wasn't in the crowd.

"_I could've missed him,_" I thought. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. But I stepped onto the train that was starting to move down the tracks.

I walked down the halls, memories playing like a film without sound. I remembered… friend I'd had.

Ghosts of my past came running down the corridors. My friends, brave people… It seems like all of them were gone now. All the people I had known as a child. All the people I had loved and laughed with were gone now. They were somewhere else gone at the hands of _Voldemort. _For what? What good did it do? What good did anything do? Loving was just a setup for disappointment, heartbreak and abandonment, I thought bitterly.

Then I saw a compartment with the curtains pulled shut. I opened the door and found… nothing.

"Hullo?" I called softly.

Then I saw the tip of a finger, laying there on the ground…

"Wotcher, Harry!" I said, pulling the cloak off his petrified body.

I unfroze him and he attempted to wipe blood off of his bruised face.

"We'd better get out of here, quickly," I suggested, "Come on, we'll jump."

We hurried down the corridor and jumped off of the train, something I've always wanted to do.

"Who did it?" I asked.

"Draco Malfoy. Thanks for… well…"

"No problem," I replied distractedly.

I fixed his nose quickly and we started walking.

"Thanks a lot!"

"You'd better put that cloak back on, and we can walk up to the school" I said.

I waved my wand and my patronus ran off down the path. I sighed and tears came to my eyes as I watched the silvery werewolf run off.

"Was that a patronus?"

"Yes, I'm sending word off to the castle that I've got you or they'll worry. Come on, we'd better not dawdle."

We had a conversation as we walked along the path. He inquired about why I was here and how I had found him.

Then Snape came walking down the darkened path. Snape turned to Harry and started insulting him quite unfairly.

"There is no need to wait, Nymphadora, Potter is quite- ah- safe in my hands," Snape told me unconvincingly.

"I meant Hagrid to get the message," I said, frowning.

"Hagrid was late for the start of term feast, just like Potter here, so I took it instead. And incidentally, I was interested to see your new patronus."

What? That was the last thing I needed! Snape in on my personal life? I don't think so!

"I think you were better off with the old one. The new one looks weak," he said maliciously.

"Good night," Harry called, "Thanks for… Everything."

"See you, Harry," I replied. Then I turned and walked alone down the pitch black path. Maybe Snape was right. Maybe I was better off before.

**I worked really hard on this! Yes, the "Memories playing like a film without sound…" part is from the song graduation. I like it. I know this chapter was just a transitional chapter, but next chapter will be more interesting… I hope! Thanks, I hope you **_REVIEW._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Just so you know, this chapter is happening while Tonks is at Hogwarts. With that, let's get on to it.**

Remus's POV

I apparated on a wet and stormy street in a gray, blank sort of city. People walked by, inconspicuous to what was going on around them. Cars sped by monotonously and the little shops looked old and weary as rain poured down on the small town.

No one here could ever guess, muggles as they were, that an underground city of werewolves were living and plotting beneath their feet.

I walked along the slippery sidewalk until the rows of shops and houses ended abruptly and turned to rolling countryside.

I then turned off of the path and into the wet grass, walking along the edge of the town when suddenly I stopped.

"I think this is it," I mumbled to myself. I was standing in front of an old and abandoned brick storehouse. I pulled open the rusting metal door with difficulty and stepped into the cobwebby darkness inside the foul smelling building.

I felt my way down and carefully walked down the wide stairs that folded out before me.

I shuddered with all the smells that were filling my wolfish nose. I reached the bottom of the stairs where a dimly lit, cavernous space loomed before me. It smelled of death and decay, raw meat, mold, and unclean people.

A couple dozen unshaved and weary looking men with sunken faces and bags under their eyes were sitting dismally against the cement walls, their heads down in a fitful sleep on their own shoulders and hanging down tiredly, facing the ground.

"Err… Hello?" I called quietly, unsure of how to greet a group like this.

"What? Whaddaya want? Who be you?" a voice growled from a dark shadow. A tall, bulky man with messy grayish hair stood menacingly over me.

"I've come to…join you?" once again I was unsure of what to say.

"You bein' a werewolf then?" he asked gruffly.

"Yes," I answered.

"Take a seat. We're waiting for Greyback to return so's we can head out for the night hunt. Greyback will decide if you can stay," he said. I sat reluctantly on the cold, dirty floor.

I wondered why these people- yes I called them people. They are as much people as they are werewolves- resigned themselves to living here when I had found a way to live almost normally as a human. A human, not an animal. Surely they could, too.

"An-Ann- A- Annie! Anne help me!" A man next to me began screaming in his sleep. The rest of the men just kept sleeping, but I reached over and shook him awake.

"Ann… Who are you?" he asked sleepily.

"I just got here. Are you all right?" I asked.

"I'm fine. A dream about…" he trailed off. He was a nice looking man with dull blond hair and a round, friendly face. He would be handsome if he got some sun and a good shave.

"I'm Remus Lupin," I told him, reaching out my hand to shake. He looked down at it in astonishment.

"You been living with humans," he remarked, not unkindly.

"Yes, but I'm not any longer," I told him, lying.

"I'm John Peterson. I'll shake your hand, but you'd better not try that on this lot," he motioned toward the sleeping figures.

He shook my hand and just as he opened his mouth to say something else, the hulking figure of Fenrir Greyback came into view.

"Time for the hunt!" He roared. A great cheering came into the air at these words and a mob of people ran toward the door. I hung back and, my heart pounding, caught up with Greyback.

"I'm new. I'd like to know if I could stay," I said politely. Too politely.

"Been living with humans, eh?" He laughed cruelly.

"They never respect us! Darn stubborn little maggots, humans are!" he roared. That made me mad.

"We're just as much human as they are!" I yelled. He stopped and looked me square in the eye.

"You're in," He said simply before running up to the rest of the "pack."

That was a nicer outcome then the one I had been expecting (getting eaten alive) so I walked faster to keep up with the crowd.

By then we had reached town. It was night and the streets were deserted.

Everyone seemed to know exactly what to do. They ran off to scattered houses and shops.

"New man! Lupin? You take the butcher shop!" Greyback called. What? What exactly did "taking the butcher shop" involve?

"I'll help you," John's familiar voice flooded me with relief.

"Come on," he crept along the side of the shop and climbed through the open window. I followed him.

Inside the shop he immediately began snatching up hunks of meat and I followed suit. I reached for a big ham on the wall but withdrew my hand as if burned.

I had never stolen in my life! I was a normal person! A completely different species then these werewolves! At least, it felt like I was.

"I- I can't do it," I shuddered.

"What? The other werewolves are in the houses taking _people_ for goodness sake and you can't take a ham?" he asked sternly.

"I can't," I said firmly. His face softened and he scooped up double meat for both of us and struggled back out the window.

We made our way back to the hideout and found the other men there already, ripping apart pieces of who knows what and I collapsed against the wall, eating a chicken leg and falling asleep.

In the middle of the night I woke up to a completely dark room. I wondered why I was on the floor for a moment until realization filled my body, along with a lurching feeling in my stomach and a sense of dread. I made my way up the stairs and sat in the field of grass beside the warehouse, looking at the stars. I'd be out by Christmas, I told myself. Three months! I would be done in three months and go back to sleeping in a bed, working for a living and eating vegetables. Meat was going to get very old in three months.

I watched a bright star and found myself wondering if Tonks was thinking about me, and found myself feeling jealous that she, unlike me, had the opportunity to take a bath.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated for a long time. Every time I think: "I'm going to update today" I end up not wanted to do it. I'm making this one a song/ story chapter, with lyrics from Hate me, by Blue October. I only got about three reviews. Thank you **Harmony'sSake, Nocturnal007, and otaku dreamer!

Remus's POV

_If you're sleeping are you dreaming  
If your dreaming are you dreaming of me?  
I can't believe you actually picked me._

She looked at him, eyes sparkling with the tears inside like the stars above them. He reached out his hand to touch her cheek, to comfort her, but he hit something cold and hard. Glass surrounded her, covering every inch of her body in a case, locking him out, locking her in. Tears came to his own eyes as a wind blew and she turned to shimmering dust between his fingers…

He opened is eyes, but it was so dark in the moist, cold room that he couldn't tell the difference between eyes open and closed. He folded his hands in his lap and listened to the slow breathing of the werewolves around him. He thought of Nymphadora again. The same dream, the same thoughts.

_I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head  
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed  
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone  
Playing movies in my head that makes nowhere feel like home  
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous stirring in my brain  
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?  
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?  
And will you never try to reach me?  
It is I that wanted space_

Had she given up on him? He had no idea. He wanted to see her, to talk to her. But he knew that when he did, his heart would burst with the wanting, and the knowing that nothing he said could reach her. He drifted to sleep again.

She was standing on the shore while he drifted away in the stormy sea, calling her name into the wind. She didn't flinch, or hear him at all, just stared intently and solemnly at the horizon. He wanted to stand with her, but he was drifting slowly further and further…

This time he woke up and pale and dirty sunlight filtered in through cracks in the walls.

The rest of the men were devouring the leftovers from last night's hunt. It had been two and a half months since he went on his first hunt. He stuck close to John ever night and stole from various shops and houses, but never killed like the others. John wouldn't say so, but he couldn't kill. That's why he was put in charge of Remus.

Remus grabbed a dirty chicken leg and shook his head roughly to clear it of any thought of Tonks, but he was unsuccessful.

She must hate him. She _should_ hate him! Why would she love him? She was better off hating his guts, and he knew it. Hate was good, in this instance. Love would destroy them.

_Hate me today  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you_

Hate me in ways  
Yeah ways hard to swallow  
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

"Remus!" John came over to him, "Full moon tonight. We have to spend the day positioning ourselves for tonight."

How could he forget? He was dreading it. He still had no information on the werewolves joining Voldemort, and on the full moon Dumbledore told him to question Fenrir, since he would be excited and loose- lipped. He had tried twice before, on the other two full moons, but Fenrir was busy and waved him off before Remus got a word out.

The pack finished breakfast and hurried outside.

"We're hiding in the bushes by the school tonight. The children come out, and we attack!" Greyback yelled orders in the morning sunlight. His plan was met with a chorus of howls as they thundered down the path to the town.

Remus ran to catch up with Greyback.

"I'm curious; do you plan on joining Voldemort when he comes around?" He asked, straightforward.

"Oiy! Think I'll give away my plans to you?" Fenrir Greyback roared with laughter.

"I'd like to know," I stood my ground, staring him down. That was the only way to get information out of him, as I had discovered.

"Of course I will! He'll give us food! Meat! Power! …freedom."

Did Remus just see what he thought he did? A flicker of something came over Greyback's eyes with the word freedom. A flicker of hope, longing, and something… human. His eyes had become soft and his voice quiet.

"Freedom?" Remus said, almost a whisper. Fenrir stopped walking.

"You know what it's like. Trying to live with humans, abandoned, turned away again and again. Rejected by everyone you…_love_."

The last word came out in a whimper, barely there and almost incomprehensible. He was unsure of the word and seemed to like the way it felt on his lips.

"They think we're monsters and," his eyes turned dark and a shadow fell over his face, "**_We are._**"

He ran ahead and left Remus at the back of the group. He had seemed so human for a while. There are mysteries in everyone's past, he thought, and no one can be all evil. It was puzzling him. He found out a while ago that it was Greyback that bit Remus in the first place, and everything he felt about him seemed to be crashing around his feet. Greyback was supposed to be evil, nothing more to it. He saw him up ahead, barking orders to the men, and decided he hadn't changed. He was always like this, but the word freedom seemed to stir some memory, or feeling, in the very pit of his soul, bringing it to the surface, through all the hate and killing above the depths of his mind.

He caught up with the group as they reached the school. The walk was long and it was lunchtime now. They hid in the dark forest beside the school and John walked over to Remus.

"What were you talking to Fenrir about?" he asked. He looked into his eyes. They were human and intelligent looking. He wanted to trust John, he really did, but it could be a trick.

"Nothing. About tonight," Remus brushed the question away. John wasn't convinced.

"Please tell me," John looked so honest…

"Voldemort," Remus blurted out. John's eyes turned wide, and he stepped back as if Remus might lash out at him.

"V- Voldemort?" John stammered.

"I asked if he would join him," Remus replied solemnly.

"And?"

"He said yes," Remus replied. John sank to the ground on his knees, his face in his hands.

"No," he breathed. He shoulders shook, but he wasn't crying.

He looked up.

"I promised myself I wouldn't! I wouldn't follow him to the slaughterhouse! I won't! I never wanted to come! God, Annie! He wants me to commit what we fought against! THE VERY THING I SWORE TO DESTROY. Help me Annie! Anne! A- Annie!" John tilted his head to the sky and screamed at the clouds. Remus backed away, scared.

John collapsed and moaned into his hands.

"Annie. Annie. Please," he whispered over and over. Remus walked over and placed a hand on his back.

"It's all right. Tell me about Annie," he whispered soothingly.

"We were married. We had a daughter, Jessica. They were the people I loved most in the world and the only thing I'll ever truly love. We were fighting Voldemort in the Ord-" he stopped suddenly, his eyes wide with shock at what he had almost revealed.

"The Order?" Remus finished for him breathlessly.

"How do you know about it?" He asked, eyes still wide.

"I belong," Remus answered, against his better judgment. John looked him up and down as if seeing him for the first time.

"But you're a werewolf," he said. Remus nodded.

"You think Dumbledore cares?" Remus asked. John breathed deeply and held back tears. He went on with his story shakily.

"We belonged to the Order and then I got bit on a mission. I disappeared and I never saw my Annie again. For all I know she could be married or… dead," he shuddered. An image and name suddenly clicked into place in Remus's mind.

"Annie Hemmings?" Remus asked. A quiet girl with fair skin and curling, shining black hair with big solemn eyes that he saw once and a while at the headquarters…

"Y- yes!" he cried.

"She's not dead," Remus informed him. John stood up, looking joyful. Then another thought came through John's mind and he sobered again.

"Is she married?"

"No idea," Remus said. They sat in silence and evening fell. Remus wondered if someday he would be like John, not knowing where Tonks is, or if she was married. Remus jumped at the thought of Tonks getting married. Suddenly he couldn't restrain a mental picture of him in a tuxedo and Tonks in a shining white dress… No!_  
_I can't let my mind get like that, he told himself. As darkness fell and the time to attack grew near, fear gripped his heart. The other times Fenrir had led them to the empty field beside the lair and trained them, like an army, to attack. Now a battle was drawing near, and every soldier sat poised and ready for a surprise attack.

The children filed past the trees, talking, and Fenrir lifted his hand in a signal…

Somewhere a clock chimed, twelve times, and stuck midnight. A tingling went through his body and fur grew up his arms and legs… dozens of werewolves stood snarling in the dark and bounded out of the woods. Children's screams echoed through the dark and Remus ran after them. Suddenly he faced a child, an eleven year old girl, cowering in fear beneath him, eyes screwed up in pain. He bent over her and… stopped. Crystal blue eyes showed as she opened them in fear and a silent scream froze on her lips…

Familiar eyes. His wolfish senses knew he couldn't attack. The eyes were identical to those of… John? A thought broke through the endless drone of _Attack, Attack, Attack_ that ran through his mind and suddenly he blinked and his mind was clear. He scooped the shaking child onto his back and ran into the woods, determined not to look back in fear of what disturbing sights would meet his eyes. He stopped a mile into the trees and put the tiny girl on the ground softly in a clearing. She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. She must have seen something there because she reached out a shaking hand and touched his muzzle. She climbed back onto his back softly and understood the he wouldn't hurt her. He took her to the end of the woods, in the city, and she got off and smiled at Remus.

"Thank you for saving me," she whispered slowly. Then she turned away. Remus felt the fur receding and his head clearing as he transformed into a human again. There was something so familiar in the way the little girl walked…

"Wait," Remus called. She turned, surprised to see a man standing there.

"I won't hurt you. I just to know something," he assured her. She nodded.

"Met me in the field by the old warehouse tomorrow night. I won't be a werewolf, I promise. Please come. I have someone I think you'll want to meet. I won't hurt you."

"I'll be there," She said before hurrying away. Remus walked back to the lair, his head foggy. It couldn't be possible, could it? Here, of all places… he was imagining things. But tomorrow he would bring John to the field and maybe, just maybe, they would see. Because, for a second, Remus had thought that she could be… John's daughter.

He arrived at headquarters and sneaked in, everyone bragging and excited about the killings and how many children they bit. Remus was disgusted.

John was asleep in a corner and Remus left him. He'd tell him tomorrow what he may or may not have found.

Remus ducked back out and walked along the path. So much had happened tonight and yet…

His thoughts went back to Tonks, just as they always did when he mind was unoccupied.

_And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave  
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made  
And like a baby boy I never was a man  
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand  
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"  
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be  
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"_

Hate me today  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways  
Yeah ways hard to swallow  
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

**Sorry about the emotional roller coaster thing. Review! I NEED IDEAS AND FEEDBACK PLEASE.**


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